Monday, July 11, 2005

I feel stupid.

Was talking to dennis online, then he asked how was i. I reflected and I realised, I was being a jerk these days.

Im tired.

Im wornout.

And im being a fake. I force smiles, i do things for other people just for the sake of making them happie, and when i get home, I burst. I snapped at everyone and I know Im a jerk. I am. I am!

Seriously not in a good mood after today's work. Long day, and the tiredness kill my fakeness. I had no idea if that's good or bad, all I know is that it's something too strong to ignore. When i tlak to yan on the fone today, i half-snapped at her. "Why are u always finding excuses not to go out with us?"

I want to scream f.u.c.k myself to the hell. Im doing that to my own close friends. So what's next?

Ah ze called a few moments ago and I was like: ni da lai gan ma. XIan zhe mei shi zuo hai shi xian zi ji tai shuai, zhao bu dao ren pei ni?" It was a totally disapproving tone. He was so shocked, he asked wad happened and I told him, I want to die, is that shocking enough? The three mins silence teared me up. I wanted to cry. I pratically broke my phone so that i can end this call asap, after a quick sorry. *sighs* dui bu qi ah ze.

Wad's happening to me.

I feel so strengthless.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I tried updating two weeks ago, and the entry died on me. >_<

So now I try updating before I go to work, and I hope it works!

Yesterday was a mess. I was at work yes, but u know, it was totally a mess and I mean it. The moment i stepped into my workplace, Auntie mei was searching for the sausage roll price tag, and then u know where it was? it was on the chicken pies. The customer actually went: How come today got two kinds of Sausage Rolls? =.= Blur lady boss i had. And u know wad? She went to talk with this customer, and left me to finish her undone work. Price tags la, pies la. She left the pastry on the tray! It all softened sooooo much it was almost melting! I had a hard time saving it.

i was havin a splitting headache yesterday, and i was all dizzy. So all the work actually caused me to have a very bad temper. Jane came then she delievered a slap on my butt. And i was snapping already, "Don't hit me."

It was a warning.

"Don't hit u?! You so lazy!" And i say i DID NOT do anything wrong at all. Sometimes i dislike teasing. Espcially with a headache in mind.

"Don't do that again. I will lose my temper." I was darn serious in that sentence. I am ANGRY. Accusation is what i hate all right. Almost lost my temper, though i doubt jane got the message that i was frustrated.

Bake loads of sausage rolls for that darn 1.35dollars customer. And he was late again. I dun care, but the work is a truckload of 210pcs of sausage rolls, equals to 70sets. After that boss wanted 5 trys of frozen pies, which means we have to make make make make make. AND scrap them OUT fo the trays. Which means we have to scrap five more trays to get clean ones. And then he sent stock when he could actually send them today instead. Man, din he realise we're buzy? =.= We finished everything at 9.45pm. Late and tired.

My toe's swollen, i accidentally hit Susan's shoe's FLAT heel, and the smallest toe on my right foot went crazie. It's ouchie. Can i consider yesterday as a bad day? I hope no one kills me today. I din have a good sleep, and I almost drove crazie by that darn ah ze.

Damn you man ah ze! How come u can be so cute but so IRRITATING!!!

*runs away*