Before... and soon after.

It's a new phrase in life right now.

After leaving all unwanted emotions behind, I cant help but believe in this "When you think positive, positive things will come to you."

Sure, it sounds dumb. I mean, how do you go on and believe such a saying will change your life?

But it doesn't change your life, directly. It changes your attitude towards life, and from there changes everything else. I've been sharing this simple thinking with everyone I know. And I hope it helps them too.

Right now, I'm full of energy everyday.
My new job rewards me with a new insight to what I thought I lost interest in - art.

I don't feel tired, or tied down in the very least.

Handling emotions is so much more easier now, I feel new haha.

Now, on and forward!

Year-end is approaching! 2012 is coming to an end and when I look back, there were so many things and people I lost, or lost me. But strangely, I became a lot more closer to people who I thought I lost earlier. Emotions got jerky and here I am, with rekindled feelings.

Honestly, every year end I write the same thing - losing and gaining.
I thought I lost it, but no, I gained more than I lost.

2012 - my biggest enemy seems to be 'assumptions'.

I am never the person who likes to be maligned; well who does anyway?  The old me would probably get very upset and try all sorts of ways to speak up for myself. But in the end, when you get fixed onto the table by someone else's opinions, and whatever you say or think doesn't matter, because you are not them.

I've always thought that, by throwing my naked feelings on the table for all to see on the very first trust I give, is the honesty I offer with both hands. Just so that people will not assume anything about me, especially when no one really cares if stuff are factual or fictional. At least I make my stand, y'know?  But not anymore.

But I have to say this: I truly, honestly enjoyed the process. I know certain feelings are real and of true concern, and I hope that is mutual, somehow. Memories it will stay.

2012 - My biggest gain.

All thanks to positivity (no really!) I've changed so much, even the closest to me couldn't believe it. This is probably my greatest gain. No more negativity, no more childish tantrums.

I can do it, now I say.
I won't let anything bad bother me.

Since I switched jobs, I have lesser time to spend with my family and my boyfriend.
Both both sides understood and accepted it unconditionally.
I'm truly grateful for that.

Especially the Boyfriend. We've been trying so hard to squeeze time out for each other even before the job switch. We meet maybe 4 hours a day, 2-3days a week. That doesn't even make a full day in a week?

Now, its even more hectic. I see him 3 hours a day, 2-3days a week. And if his off days doesn't fall on Sunday, which is my only day of rest, we survive on 9 hours of meeting up a week. Days like these are so so hard for us but we are thriving on.

I think we are actually happier now, because we treasure our time together so much, there isn't much room for arguments. All we want is to use the time in quality.

2013 - So much more to come

So, we didn't die on the initial day of 2012.12.21. (I was working when it started to pour, and the first thing that came to my mind was Oh is it gonna get flooded and I'll be swept away haha)

There are so much more in my plans.
My marriage, my very own home, my furkids growing up, perhaps a few more overseas trips.
I wish for my family to be in great health.

I want to know more people.
Widen my view in arts and the world.
I want to be useful, and most importantly... I want to be someone everyone would love to be with.

I want to look back at this entry and think: I've got all these.



:) Cherish the last few days of 2012, and have a great 2013 ahead all!

Catching up.

Can you believe its August already? Times flies so quickly I can't even catch its tail!

Its now 4 months to the rumoured 'world's end'. Have you thought of what to do before that? Haha, actually I wonder how many people actually believes AND will spend all their savings before the end.

Life has been merciful on me.

Other than occasional hiccups, and BF's grandfather hospitalized, I'm pretty good.

I wish I have more strength in handling things though.

I'm losing patience with some people. Well, if you expect us to help you, at least be gracious? Sure, we volunteered to, because I cannot stand the fact that men cannot really handle the administrative issues.

So I took over.
And then... Well, let's just say you didn't give us a peace of mind huh.
And ended up pushing the blame to us when changes affected us.

Just... stop lining your wet blankets out for all to see.
Okay, correction.

See, okay.
Just stop involving us.
There are so many things we know and heard. We just didn't make it a shout out to ruin it further.

I will thank you for that.

I am a protective person by nature, to all my friends and loved ones.

Le sigh.





Anyway! Brighter side of life: its our 41st today!
Made me realise wow, its almost 3 and a half years.
May it go on, and on and on.

=D

心诚则灵。

好多时候，我很想就那么坐在床上，听着自己最爱听的情歌，安安静静的让眼泪决题。

就这样，没有恨，没有伤，只是为了想哭而哭。哭完后洗个热水澡，看看镜子中的自己，笑一个，然后睡个觉。

没有人的生活是一帆风顺的。 再怎么完美的人生，都会有挫折。

除非你没有亲人朋友，一生待在一个地方，不过问任何事物人。

所以尽管我十分十愿意开心的，心平气和的过，我始终感觉到心里那若有似无的窟窿。

但我想我是勇敢的。

我会这么坦白面对自己，我想我也是坚强的。

套句话：最大的敌人不是别人，而是自己。

不快乐就面对吧。
不开心就接受吧。
舍得舍得，有舍才有得啊。

That dress.

(Pictures credit to http://iwanagown.blogspot.sg/)

Just yesterday, while I was out with VIctoria & Rebecca for some Dim Sum cravings satisfaction, I came across this Thasi Designer Fashion fair ongoing at the atrium of our very own Vivocity.

Different aspiring thai designers with their dresses, ready to be purchased by ladies whose eyes will lay on.

Honestly, I wouldn't have looked, if not for the curiosity. For I'm one big cheapo and the dresses there costs probably more than I can afford. But I looked on anyway.

Its kinda strange, come to think of it now. WHY would I look at gowns when I don't even need them?

But okay, and so I browsed and I landed at this little corner, with the brand name Nolita Bangkok.

And I found something that caught my eyes.
Pink V neck, with mesh bottom, gems at the waist and a silk sweetheart bustier within the Vneck line.
Price? $40.

But it didn't hit me then, that I will need it somehow.

I joked to Vic that I can use it for my ROM.
And jokingly SMS BF that I found a ROM dress I would love.

I was already at the second floor when I received his 'GO GET IT' reply.
But I was like meh, Im kidding!

Now, I have no idea when I'm gonna get married, even though it is set to be within 3 years.
It could be anytime. But I seriously have no estimation as of yet. All I wanna do now is settle the lease of agreement  by this year.

Since he said that, Vic and I headed back down and....

The dress is sold.

.

.


.


FATE.

But now I'm totally sold. To this brand.
I'm desperately searching for it, hoping I can find a way to know about the brand and her wonderful designers.

So if anyone knows about this Thailand brand, or her designers.... HELP!
I actually thought of going Thailand to search for them, but it hits me they might not have a retail shop. =(
Good luck to me!




... Meanwhile, everything is going fine for me.
I want to stay positive.


HUAT.

知足

Sometimes life is a about losing something, before gaining one another.

Some people don't think they néed you anymore, so they leave you to be picked up by some other.

Trying to gain benefits? Shame on you.

But it's ok, right now all I want is to drown in my own happiness and excitement in the near future.

What's gonna be better than planning for my house, my husband to be, and my baby room?

Actually come to think of it, I'm just glad and thankful.

Let's just scratch all negative thoughts.

:)

A greater need, a greater responsibility

Recently I've been tied down to settle one big fat problem.

As most people know, I've gotten my BTO flat, at Clementi. It was the one BF & I really hoped to get, and under high competition (4 families fight for 1 unit)

Lady luck stood by us. 

I couldn't contain the happiness when I got the news. 

But soon after, I got slammed with reality.

How are we going to pay for the downpayment?

Thus, I've been thinking really hard. Money, its never easy.

My head is in a blur now. Thankfully, I do have ways to settle it, even if it means having to take a loan.

The best people to thank have to be my bosses.

Its not yet a year I'm in the firm, but their support and advises, are priceless.

I want to look forward to what we have now, and we can have for the future.

Juggling finances is never easy. 

But I want 'us' to strive through this together. 

Happiness doesn't come easy.

Contentment comes after hard work.

Let's work hard, my husband-to-be.

I want to have our kids live in a comfy home.

Somewhere they will wanna slack in during weekends.

Keep the passion burning, they say.

I'll keep passion burning, in reality.

Taking a breather

Taking a breather away from some stacked work in the office.

So many things to do and so little time!

In anyways, things are well so far. Nothing much to complain about.

Just received my ballot letter from HDB, got a mini fright thinking it was THE letter to determine if I got my flat or not haha.

Fingers crossed!

Once I got the flat, I'll be off to start preparing for a wedding to come.

This kinda frightens me actually. The amount of money + time... All for the 'face' of our parents.

Trying to stay positive! Its a new phase of life, and I am excited to decorate my house haha.

And adopt a doggy :D

And so, a self encouragement: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Here & Now.

Sometimes I think a blog isn't the best of place to record how one feels.

Recently, I saw through broken hearts' fake façade.

They, were holding on hard, but to be forced to consider the probability of letting go.

Something they have worked hard for but to leave without it...

The pain is way beyond our imagination.

Im glad to say, I'm not in the lorry of bad emotions as of now.

I do have a doubt thrown around my heart and brain once in a while.

Like - How am I going to endure the harsh fights?

How am I going to change my expectations for him?

How am I going to change myself for the better, to be less of a jealous bomb here and there?

So many questions, awaiting answers.

But I guess I'm just holding on for the sake of love.

Cheesy isnt it?

Its a Monday today.

I hope I don't have to be dyed blue for too long.

I dont wanna be blue's clues. (Ha-ha.)

Hopefully those experiencing the emotional roller coasters will be back on flat land soon.

Life's too short to be upset for long.

A little song to sooth the rocky road ahead:

Troll.

Isn't it a joy to see someone who doesn't put in any effort drown in it's own bitter tears?

Doesn't mean you have some one 'big' supporting your back, you have the bones.

Nothing much. Just felt like saying this.

And to that anonymous at my chatbox:

PS: At least leave your url link as some random porn site so I can get some trojan virus adware whatsoever. Blah.com is too mainstream.

Happy 2012!

Im late, but well, better late than never lol.

2012 is here, and 2011, well, wasnt a good year.

I went through major changes in my life, in terms of work, social circle and emotions.

But whatever it is, every new year I tell myself, forget it, the stuff that happened in last year happened last year. 2012 - lets make it better!

2012 has just started, so here are some backdated stuff:

First, Im on my permanent contacts.

I feel... weird. lol.

But it gave me some problems so I'm gonna return them to the opticians and ask for some help!

When I came back from long holidays after christmas, this was what greeted me - an entire ant colony, within my desk partition.

I was beyond shocked.

They even have eggs inside! (See those yellowish stuff? yeah)

We ended up having to dismantle the entire thing and spam Bygone. ZZZ.

And wash the whole thing, and cough, we do it all at one shallow sink. T^T

Last December, we welcomed a new family member - An african grey parrotlet!

Coincidentally, same age as Baby the bunny.

And oh, this parrot's name is baby too haha.

No creativity tsk.

The little one has grown alot since then, and now knows how to perch!

Comes running to me (cant fly yet) when I'm around.

But I cant help but chant this whenever it tries to perch on me: DONTSHITDONTSHITDONTSHIT.

Yea.

And we lost a family member :(
Xiao Hei, the Motoro Stingray left us on Sunday.

I cried throughout the entire time as I watch him stop breathing.

BF and I got him when he was just 6inches long.

He was nearly double the length when he died.

Sighs.

Did anyone said Bunny?

This is Baby - 5 weeks old.

And 6 weeks old...

And this is Baby - 12 weeks old, meaning my little one is exactly 3 months old =)

See how much she's grown?

She came running to me when I called for her that day, i swear I was so overjoyed I wanted to scream to the entire world OMG I HAVE SUCH A CUTE BUNNY.

Maternal instincts, I blame.

Okay, abrupt end.

Hi 2012! <3