Don't know what's wrong with me.

Yesterday, after BF came home from basketball and we were on the phone as usual.
He had to hang up, have his dinner etc.
So okay, we did.

I forgot what I did after.
Totally.

BF called me back and when i answered, I blurted all sorts of unknown stuff to him.
He told me I said things like:

"Huh what you doing." (I didn't even say hi.)

(BF asked what am I doing instead.)

"Huh, what are you doing?" I asked again.

This went on and on, then he suddenly said "B YOU OKAY NOT!"

Then my brain suddenly worked and I asked him what happened.


I TOTALLY HAVE NO MEMORY OF WHAT I SAID!
My mind cleared all of a sudden, and I asked BF what happened to me.

He said I sounded like I was possessed or something, giving him answers that didn't sound like me.
But I really, really have no memories of what I did, or said!

Other than being possessed,
My guess is that I fell asleep, and groggily answered the phone.
Maybe I thought it was morning already and I forgot to wake-up-call bf, which I did forget yesterday.

And I think i meant to ask him why so early, instead of what you're doing.






Some times I think I'm pretty stupid.
Or scary.

How many times have you hurt someone?
How many times, have someone hurt you?

Have you ever regretted stepping into a relationship?
Have you ever regretted letting go of that somebody?

There are so many things you could think about in a relationship.
If you're just like me,
you have this pea brain, but yet what's inside is bigger than a durian.
(Rhyming unintended lol) (And tong, pun unintended as well)
You want to talk about it, but yet you're afraid it would make things worse.

You lose all confidence.
You felt like you're nothing.
You bottle up, and when things get too much to handle,
you hurl your emotions, along with those you've hidden.

Then suddenly you're okay again.
You realise actually after all those outburst, you can live on.
Weird, a few mins ago you thought you wanted to fall back and just byebye!

I'm like that.

However complicated, there's always a simple side of things.
Its just like people telling you war is complicated, but peace is simple.

I'm still crazily in love,
even though hurt comes often.
But which relationship doesn't gives hurt?
Its those hurt that make you realise,
you can look beyond those hurt, and love him harder, better.

But people always choose to be complicated, than simple.
We are such creatures after all.
After those complication, simplicity will shine.


We scream, we yell, we do all sorts of silly stuff for love.
Don't you?

爱没那么简单-黄小琥

没那麼简单就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那麼多的背叛
总是不安只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪 漫

没那麼简单就能去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感 觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上 关上了手机舒服窝在沙发裡

相爱没有那麼容易每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那麼容易才会特别 让人著迷
什麼都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心但却最动心的记忆

How can I not love my guy?
=D

We were on the phone all the while, but my monitor was off (my comp is on 24/7 lol)
We bid each other goodnight, but I couldn't sleep.

So I woke up, thinking I could check some stuff out,
and I saw an msn message from him.

I know it was from his itouch cause the msn nick was like so outdated!

Can't explain how sweet it felt lol.

We fightfightfight squabble but at the end of the day,
its those small gestures that remind us how in love we still are.

ILY bf =)

Dear Sky my baby dancing flower lol.

HAPPY 22nd ORANGUTAN BIRTHDAY!

I remembered last year you invited me to your 21st birthday at your place.
But I didn't go, cause it was too far, and what for I go to the other side of SG alone to celebrate the birthday of someone whom I hardly know?

Lol.

Yeah I know you were disappointed.


But this year!
Not only I'm celebrating for you.

So are my friendszzzzzz! :


We'll make sure you have a fantastic cake mask on your face.



And make sure you know you're 22 already.
No more kid hor ah b.

And yes, Big candle stands for 10, and small stands for 1.
This silly bf of mine doesn't know what does the candles stand for.





This also stands that we knew each other for more than 1 year already.
And after we fell in love,
till now we're still in love,
and till the end hopefully you'll still try to carry me down tall steps like you always do, cause I'm afraid of heights,
even when you're old and wrinkly.

Happy birthday, my baby!

I know I'll always love you!

<3

Just back from chalet a few hours ago!
Have got tons to do and pictures to upload, but not now.

I need to embrace my bed!

Got drenched in the rain cause there were no shelters around my block when we cabbed back home.
Everything seemed like a blur suddenly.
Was I not home for 2 days only?
Seemed like ages when I saw my dog welcoming me. Lol.

BINGO AH I LOVE YOU AH DOGGY!







Be back soon!

Well,
I was bored.
I'm waiting for BF to knock off,
and I'm a little lazy, so I don't wanna pack my clothes for tomorrow's chalet yet.

So I played with online photo effects and came out with stupid stuff:


Like, my son & daughter.




Got the site from Belle (http://www.makemebabies.com)
You guys can go check it out,
those without partners, you can make babies with Brad or Angelina.
LOL.

I didn't try any celebrities,
cause my only idol is my bf.
Come, awwwwwwwww with me!

HAHAHA!



Okay, then I went over to http://www.photofunia.com for other stuff:
\


Including a poster...


And a random stranger drinking whiskey and staring at my pictures like I'm his dead hamster or something.


Their Lomo grainy effect...


And they made me feel like Bill.
A 100USD Bill.







Right.
Yeah thats it.
HAHAHA.



I'm excited for chalet tomorrow!
And I'm totally hooked on Leaking's dslite again.
She has got Pokemon Diamond Ver and I spent 1 hour on it.
And I got myself a German Shepard on Nintendogs and named it Jelly.

A little retarded to call out "Jelly! Jelly!" to a game machine though.





CHALET!

Yaaaaaaaaaayness!

Fillers!

Warning: This is another filler entry.


T^T

I can explain!
First, I have nothing to update about!
No events no nothing, because nothing can be more significant than the upcoming stuffs!

Okay,
here's it, I'm going chalet-ing this coming Sunday with my family, and BF.
We'll be celebrating his birthday on an earlier date, with a BBQ while at the chalet.
Then, after we check out on the 23rd, 25th March would be BF's birthday itself.
And he's having the day off.

So there you go, two march events.

I would have added personal events into those above (like u know, when my menses is scheduled to arrive) if I'm groggily enough but heng I'm only typing this entry 2 hours after I woke.

Erh.
Yeah.



Filler pictures too.


My baby girl.
She's not very baby already I know, but I love her to bits.
She's the one who connects with me most among the three I have.
She has weird habits like sleeping on top of the water bottle. My dad once told she suffocated there but actually she's just sleeping lah.

I poked her and she woke up.

The other 2 are crazy kids.
Haha.


Been using my samsung S860 camera all over again these days.
I've been neglecting it ever since I've got my Samsung Pixon Pink.
But I'll need it for chalet cause Pixon runs out of batteries pretty quickly.
And Pixon's shutter is a little sloooooow.






I know I look terrible here.
But bf's double eyelids very thick here.
NOT FAIR!
Where did MINE go?

And the reason why my hair looked that way is cause I tied it to the other side.





How long was it since I last took a picture without my glasses?
LOL.

Convince me to get contacts.




I'm going to Taiwan on the 16th June - 21 June!
Then one week after I get back, BF's gonna reservist till July.
Told him to miss me.

Lol.
Would be bring my netbook along, cause I'll miss him, I need the msn, and in case we need to check details on the net, we have the netbook.
It so happens that my netbook is the smallest portable pc-related device around in my house.



Right.

I don't know when the next entry would be.
But lalalalalalala =D

Haven't got the energy to write up an entry to be published during midnight this time.
So here's one,
to note and remember what happened since the last month we said "Happy Month-sery" to each other.


Last month was nothing but chaos.
True chaos that caused a riot.
we cried so much I could open a saltwater aquarium.
My room door has no lock now, because it was broken into.

I thought it was all over that time.

But somehow we held together.
Just somehow, something held us together.
Till now, I don't know what it was.

Perhaps its the fear of not knowing who to love after.
Perhaps its the need and want to love no one else.
Or maybe, it was just love, and that we know without each other, nothing can do.

Honestly,
my mind was in a blank when I thought of life without him.
I tried thinking but it just wouldn't do.
I will then start to feel sleepy and off to take a nap.

I know it sounds cheesy lah.

Don't know why I love this guy so much,
when his definition of giving me comfort when I cry,
is to use a pillow and keep tickling my chin till I get irritated and bite him.

And bringing in my hamster & dog onto my bed when both animals hadn't got their baths yet.
(SKY ONG! I NEED TO SLEEP ONE LEH!)

& he can't even give me a proper hug when I cry!
He'll hug me, and slap the back of my head multiple times till I scream at him.

Whatever lah.
Stupid dog.

Nevertheless.
Thank you for making an effort to call and ask for help to resolve what happened yesterday.
Even though we didn't celebrate, like we planned to,
and ended up eating KFC with my parents.
Its okay, we're fated to grow fat together.

its the 10th month together!
And another 2 more to mark the 1st year.
Seemingly short.
But there's more in life to go.

I love you!

I can has many legs to stand on many boats

After Tiger, comes Jack Neo.
1 woman speaks up, the rest realised they can do the same.

That day I read on the papers, that according to a 100people research,
92% of men thought Neo should be forgiven.

And the chinese saying goes: "全天下男人都会犯的错。"
Translated: A wrong doing all men might commit.

So I asked BF that day.

"How many women will be needed for a single man?"

He said: "HOW I KNOW! I'm not him what!"

He even told me not to think he is in the same pack of wolves just cause he's a man.
Oh well lol.

Honestly after reading the news,
I have that walaos-why-like-that-how-to-have-faith-if-i-read-these-all-day feeling.

Then again, its not up to us to choose to forgive him or not.
It lies with his wife.

So, zip zip public.
Though we all know we loveeeeeeee gossips, as long as they don't happen on us.

Some pictures I've stolen from FB on our resort world trip last month...

I miss my bestie =(



Casino escalator...
My hair is damn long.


She totally looked the part.
I laughed my head off this picture.



Bestie come hoooooooooooooooome!
I missed you!




By the way,
21st march, we're gonna celebrate Skyong's 21st22nd early birthday.
Will send a message to all those invited!

This is a filler entry.




=D

Oh!

THE JASPE HAVING CLEARANCE!

Most stuff going at $5, $10, $15!

Check it out!

I went prawning again.
With a BF like Sky, I go fishing/prawning pretty often haha.

Met Leaking dearest up and we trained to Boon Lay to meet BF up.
We were gossiping darn alot.
Lol.

Had breakfast at Mcdee's.
But there were too many humans in JP's Mcdee's.
Supply couldn't go with demand.
Staff can't handle everything.

Did I mention I hate JP's Mos Burger?
I always have to wait like 8mins for my takeaways, even if its just a pack of fries.

Okay, enough of complaints!
We cabbed to Jurong Hill and settled down.
Only us, and a other couple prawning there.

And BF took out the worst bait ever, in ladies' dictionary.


Sarong-wtfdisgusting-worms!


I asked BF, what's that?
He said, their house loh!
I was like what, they have houses like that?
Are those mud?
Or cocoons?

I think its just moist tubes lah.




Bf the hero snipped the tubings and pried the worm out.
And it looked like this.
Stretched out and moving.
It posed for me.

EYEEEEEEEER!



Then what's more eyeer.



They became like this.

BTW, one piece, supposedly the head, was still moving.
Leaking and I were like @#$%^&*.


But yeah.
We prawned with it.
And when BF was busy and couldn't attend to me,
the girls just hook the bloody worm by themselves.
I suppose the brown liquid on my hands were the blood.





...






But anyway.
I caught a fish.
In a prawning pond.


BF say I lagi best.

How I know I'll be fishing instead of prawning!
I was standing there calmly then suddenly my rod got pulled.
Instincts told me to pull it up and when I did I stunned.

Fish =.=


But well anyway, BF has got 30plus catches.
Me?
I don't know, perhaps 15++?

Back to his place to shower then out for dinner at Tampines with Raymond & Ben joining us.

Ray, Leaking & BF then headed back to my place for crap session till 1140pm.
Lol.

SUPRE STUFF HERE!
YAAAAYNESS.




I'm ending my entry here cause I'm hungry and I want my dinner nao.

I'm the nurse for the day.
Nurse, not to help the humans.

But nurse to Mr Ong's Arowana.

Poor baby had out flipped gills.
We listened to advices and decided to cut the open gills into strips so that it can heal.

But before that, we had to make it fall asleep.

Do you know there's anesthesia for fishes as well?
BF scooped the fish outta the tank, and within 30drops of the drug, it gently flipped, with it's tummy facing up and fell asleep.

I know it sounds super scary to have a fish with tummy facing up.
But it was breathing calmly.






Then slowly, gently, BF started the operation.

Below is a vid I took during the op!

The baby is fine, by the way.
We placed it back into the tank and it regained consciousness pretty much within 5mins.



We continued the day by going fishing at Jurong Lake Park jetty!



They fish, I play Itouch and enjoy the breeze.





I spent the day having cramps.
Super cramps.
I ran out of pain killers so i had to bear with the pain until I get home.
Thank goodness for a loving BF.




Which reminds me, BF got a me a gold chain bracelet for my belated Vday present.
Real gold =)

He woke early just to go get it, and surprise me.
And due to that he was pretty sleepy and while we both were having a nap,
he had his arm and leg over my body, thus I couldn't move,
and he took up so much space, when I woke up I realised I could fall by just flipping around.

Blaaaaaaaah.

I'll be seeing him on sat for prawning!
Can't wait.
And erh, yes that's my new hobby. HAHA.

Will rest my day tomorrow.
Crampy body needs loads of rest!


<3

At bf's Place right now. Lol. Will have some to update later, including a mini operation and a belated gift from my love. Right now I'm nursing my cramps. Hate them but without them I'm not normal lol. K to updates later :))

My life is just a random.

So this is a day of my random life:


Met Leaking up, and since my bro and kaiqi are heading to Bugis, we went there together.

Lunch at Ichi Tei @ Sunshine plaza.
Not too bad, Miso Soup is a plus point.
Kaiqi had 2 bowls of it!






My Teriyaki Salmon.
Lovesssss it.



We went for a shopping trip after that and came back with tons of loots!
Some pictures after all the food XD

Met Kailin, Soon wai and Ching Ling for Soonwai's belated birthday!

Ding tai feeeeeeeeeng!



Kailin's very random glass noodle with taupok.


Prawn dumplings.


Oh my xiao long bao!
<33333333333 max!



And erh, the ladies weren't satisfied, so off we went for Cafe Cartel's 9pm 50% off:


My dear ching insisted to spread butter on my bread for me,
and she mixed NY Cheesecake on it.
Cause they are about the same colour.
FML.


I went off first cause I'm meeting BF.
It was already 930pm.
But yeah, we make time for each other even though we'll only see each other for an hour.
Our east <-> west relationship lol.

Shopping rocks my world!



Cotton On bodycon dress.
On saaaaaaaaaaale. $10!


And a stripes dress from Bugis village.
$10 too hahahahaha.

I've got loads more stuff from trades too.
Haha.
Guess I'm blessed like that!





This is a filler entry,
ala the random style.


LOL.




I saw a funeral at the exact same place my grandma had hers in Bugis.
I had that pang of emotions that moment.
I know its not very respectful to stare.
But I just couldn't help it.

It felt like it all over again.
=(

I miss her!
I had this dream before Yuan Xiao, that my chorchor, ahgong and grandmother were around.
And my chorchor said, to be peaceful and happy is the most blessed.

How true.

Have got tons to do tomorrow,
And my baby's off day is coming soon!
Can't wait XD

Tons of love peeeeepoleeee!

Insecurities.

Which woman, attached, married, in love.
Whether they are straight, Bi, or lesbian.

Tell me, which woman don't feel that insecurity at least once in their relationships?

I recently have friends who got attached.
3 of them.
All of them told me they felt insecure even though they know their men love them.

So I said,
Throughout those 9 months of being attached to BF,
I am STILL, insecure.

We just had a major fight about this issue yesterday.
The usual, Jealousy.
I do not like it when another female takes another look at him (ONE LOOK IS ENOUGH OK!)
I do not like it when he looks at another female. (tell me, who does?)
I do not like it when another female touches him, be it a featherlight poke.
Unless you're his mother, his sister, or at the very least someone I know.

And being the very stubborn Jeslene Lee, i defended my points with:

"Will you like it if YOU are in my shoes?"
"Would you like it if I allow other men to do the same?"

And ta-dah. the fight just fired up.

Honestly, I never wanted to build the tension up.
But it felt like, to get my point straight at an enraged man, I had to yell it back.

Gosh I know!
I know jealousy is one of the 7 deadly sins!

I do understand,
He knows what he is doing,
But I just can't help my mood from dropping.
Urgh.



But butbutbutbutbut, if this can help a little,
I was in PMS mood.
PMS + JEALOUSY + YELLING = BOOMZ!

*Heaves a huge sigh*


I am possessive lah okay, I admit laaaaaaaah.
What to do when I love this guy so much, I wanna swallow him whole!

But anyway.
The whole saga ended with "Sorry lah b."


I also sorry lah.
Just didn't say only.
Wait for you to come home and look at my blog lah okay!
I lovelove you deepdeep like goreng pisang alibaba japanglang okay!


Tell me, how not to get jealous please.
I need to like, have some good lessons about it.

I think I need temper management too.

Hmm..

And PMS stopper.



I just hope I can stop being so insecure sometimes.





Maybe women are indeed more emotional.
Shrugs.