Sigh.
Hate to start an entry this way.
But...

Had a fight with my brother yet again.
Just because I opened his drawer and didn't close it.
He yelled at me, and being me, I retorted.

And he threatened to fist me down.
I'm serious, if not for my dad, he would have threw a fist at me.

Actually I told myself not to cry.
Cause its pointless.
Tears are useless.
But when my dad came over and held my hand, he patted my head and told me its okay.
I just couldn't stop crying.

I know I am in wrong.
Maybe I shouldn't have retorted.
But if I didn't, somehow I will seem to be defenseless.
I don't want to be defenseless.

Just 2 days ago, I'm sure some of my girls know.
I had a fight with him and at that point of time, I didn't even fight back.
I only cried.

I almost wanted to stay silent, just like that day.
But when my dad say, its okay, don't cry.
I lost my own battle.

I sobbed so hard.
I told my dad,
"He say he tolerated me for so long, then what about me?"

I know deep inside, he knew what I meant.
He told me, its okay, its okay.


Sigh.
Let tears flow.
Let them.

At least for tonight.