I read yanting's tag and I was like:

Yeah, I have things that people are envious of.
I have a bf who dotes on me 24/7.

But that's the only current thing I'm glad about.

He kept asking me, what stress do I have?
I wished I can give a general answer.
Recently it felt like, someone's pushing my head into the water, and when I tried gasping for air or hold onto something for support, I was denied and thrown back into water.


Might sound serious to people, but that's exactly how I felt.

PMS, it might be.
But external stress don't come from PMS.
PMS only enlarges one's emotions.
Which is how I am now.
My emotions are getting out of control.
I personally think the stress can be destroyed easily, but with a state I'm in now, I tend to be... crazy.
Even BF is having a hard time assuring me.

"Nothing is wrong."

Guessed that's why I said I need a getaway.
I would be able to put a stop to unwanted insecurities, and plan about all I can do in a place that I don't belong to.

And carrie, if you're reading this,
I'm sorry, I'm not going to genting anymore.
Circumstances applies.
I'm sorry I didn't message you.
It slipped my mind.



That's why, that's why.
I need to be more optimistic.
I want to be looking at the bright side.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.

Where's the happy-go-lucky Jeslene Lee?

Fucking paranoid and all these days lah. Now I look back on yesterday, I WANT TO LAUGH AT MYSELF!


No problems, I shall find her back.
That happy-go-lucky crazy girl.


Sorry BF, and whoever who had to put up with my shits these days.



AND YES,
this entry is pretty much a "I'm typing so I can sort out my thoughts and be more cheerful and stop staying messy."




Over and out, sir!


Yes I'm feeling happier.

And yes I know I'm weird.
Bf thinks I'm weird too.
Never mind lah.
I'm special as just weird.