changed the song in my blog to 再见我的爱。It's by Cherry Bloom, Ying tao bang. A female rock band in Taiwan.

Been kinda moody these days. I blamed it all on my pms. Think and think and think. Then realise all things in this world is against me. It's a monthly routine that I really dislike. It's uncontrollable, yet so not tolerable.

Soemtimes I wonder; well, like I always do; if i disappear in this world, would anyone realise that I'm not playing a prank; I'm not being such a jerk to not contact anyone of you? Would Ze even realise that I'm gone?

Perhaps not.

Most of the time I am the one cheering people up. I smile the Jeslene-way, the way I always did. But somehow, sometimes my dear friends would fail to look through me.

"Jes/Wen, can you like, stop faking a smile?" If i hear that at the right time, right moment, I shall and will cry. I want to find back the crybaby within me. Now you know why I say I'm a good actress and force tears out? The tears had been dam-ed within too long. I guess.

*If i say something I saw on a paper today made me really happy, is that kinda bad? Hui, tong and carrie knows what I'm saying lol...*

Watched Devil Wears Prada today! It's quite a good movie, for those who didn't read the novel like me. For those who read the novel, I guess carrie and tong thought it was pretty good as well.

Shall nv listen to Ah tong's choice of bus anymore. The journey, although not as tedious, is as long as that very time we took 58. I boarded the bus at 630pm, I alighted at Pasir Ris Interchange at 8pm. Luckily, while dragging my feet through the cabins of the mrt train, I saw Yixiang. Talked to him the journey back to Tampines. About ITE stuff and Polar. Lolz.

Now I'm home, waiting for tomorrow's appointment.

Am not going to school again. But I'm nice all right, I informed Ms Lee and Ms Tay already. But i'm going to miss the party! Argh.

老实说，我一直以为我会熬的过去，我真的认为以我自己的性格来说，我也许会没这么痛苦。常告诉我自己，我若是懦弱的话，一切就完了。倔强？顽固？我想我也不过如此而已。想要自己变身为打不死的蟑螂，看来也不可能。

那寂寞来时，无所盾形；任性无助时，又有谁呢。

其实也不过这样。希望这一摊牢骚发完后，全不得不安会云硝烟散。

因为除了[心诚“泽”灵]，我别无所求。



All loves,
Jeslene