I'm stressed.

--

I went shopping today with Yan and Leaking.
I bought NOTHING.
And they were late for 1hr 20mins.
Had loads of laughter, nevertheless.

what I said: kiss on my zui ba (mouth)
Yan heard: Kiss on my chee bye.

.............

I laughed through the journey of three stations.

--

Demo recording went well.
It was one-on-one recording with Amos, the ever so terrifying principal of Hark.
I was... really stressed.
After all, I was recording a self-composed song, by a fellow hark-ie.

And Amos gave me alot... compliments.
Which made me stress even further.

"This song will sound great with your voice."
"Your voice might just make his song sell."
"You are really high in standard to me cause you have a unique voice and good techniques."

A compliment from him is really very very very rare.
I've seen the way he critics.
I tell you, it kills.

You may think I'm boosting.
But I'm not.
Do you know how much stress and pressure these words weigh?
Sighs.

I was pretty outspoken today.
And I was really glad I wasn't reserved with my voice.
I was singing the song in my own way.
I guess the confidence came from the compliments as well.
Contradicts.

After the demo was done, Amos interviewed me.
...
For what?
Sighs.

Hark is holding yet another competition.
And, he wants me to be in it.
This will be not only a bigger event with a bigger stage.
No, its not held in the humble adobes of Hark Music.
So no, its not that small stage.
It will be a showcase as well as a great form of stress.

I know, I know.
Its another step forward in my career path.
But I'm not ready.
Not another competition for me, not yet.
But chances always come when you're not ready, eh.

I can't.....
But maybe I can.
I'm all stressed out.
And I have to answer him by Tuesday.
My gosh.
I'm...

Argh.

I want to perform.
Singing is my life.
But.
I want to perform as a singer.
not a competitor.

--

Hais.